Mask or Menace IC Contact

[itistolaugh]

"Harley here! Leave a message and I'll get back to you.

Or I won't.

Don't be boring."

(text, voice, video, action)

Comments

[beaky]

Ah. I see.

It's strange how oddly similar are issues are.
I assure you I have no intend to laugh but perhaps commiserate.
It's an unfortunate boat to be in.

Have you told him yet?

[itistolaugh]

yes
several times
very blatantly
he likes me but not enough to be a thing

[beaky]

I'm sorry, forgive me, what does 'not enough to be a thing' mean exactly?

As in he likes you as a friend or he likes you as something more but
I don't know
he's incredibly stupid about it?

[itistolaugh]

he'll make out with me but he won't date me

[beaky]

Sounds like he's playing games.
I would not stand for that, he should want to date you or else he gets nothing!

What's there not to want to date?

[A lot. Or what he would have said before but now she's in the same boat as him so fuck it, he will argue on her behalf TO THE BITTER END. Fuck these dense idiotic men.]

[itistolaugh]

the problem with that is then i also get nothing and also he just keeps being really cute and i give in i can't help myself it's a real problem

[beaky]

I wish I could say I don't get it but

Well, you've met my current interest.
I wish I wasn't as into him as I am and I try to pull away but no one has ever treated me like this besides my mother and yet, I get nowhere and

Hmm. This is awfully depressing, isn't it?
... I suddenly find myself desiring a drink.

[itistolaugh]

first rounds on me

[beaky]

Sounds wonderful.

Let's go drink and curse out our respective loves.

text

[shadowglitter]

hhhhhhhey.
Hey. Hey. Hi. It's the cool and great and awesome Odin Dark, here to shovel all of his problems on a person he's spoken to exactly once.
You do therapy stuff? I think.
I don't need that, but someone to talk to would be cool.
My friend is sad about his dead sister/ported out girlfriend, my other friend just sorta friend-broke up with me, the dude I love is gone, my impromptu-family I can't really rely on right now and everyone else I'd turn to is kinda MIA. So...

D... do I pay you? Do I give you money? To talk? At me?
I have so much money. How much would you like?
I could buy you a house, if I wanted to, and if they let me put houses on credit cards.

[itistolaugh]

I never been so insulted in my life! You were a lot nicer when I kidnapped you all the time!

text

[itistolaugh]

what you don't have to pay me to talk to me we're friends???
you can still give me money tho i wouldnt mind that you just don't HAVE to

ok so first you knew someone who was dating his dead sister?

text

[shadowglitter]

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SO MUCH MONEY!!!

Oh, no. Um, they were two different people. My buddy's girlfriend got ported out, and then his sister died. That's what I meant.
Though-- actually, I think he used to think of his girlfriend as his sister? Like, not his specific sister, just, like, a makeshift sister, before they started... or, wait. Maybe she was his sister, too? Biologically? I don't...
Okay, look. The uncertain quantum-y properties of whether or not my friend was dating his sister or not is irrelevant.
Point is.
My... EMOTIONS.

text

[itistolaugh]

mmmm okay
i have a plan
do you like animals

text

[shadowglitter]

I used to hunt and eat bears? I make money in my professional life by dressing up as a peacock and gripping people in weird ways with my body.

I've got two dogs I named after my sad, dead parents?

text

[itistolaugh]

sounds like a yes to me
come over and help me brush out the babies and we'll talk and maybe cuddle if you want

[the_caped_crusader]

[He gets up from his desk, so young and incredibly handsome, and walks around to her. He smiles and places a hand lightly on her arm.]

Harley, I'm sorry. I've just been working too much lately. Can you forgive me?

[itistolaugh]

[ She knows exactly what to do with incredibly handsome wealthy man. ]

No. This is a hostage situation until I get a better present.

[the_caped_crusader]

[He's still smiling, although perhaps a little more wryly now, and he pats her on the arm and turns away.]

Right. That's not going to happen, Harley. [He retakes his seat.] Was there anything else you wanted?

[itistolaugh]

[ Why.

Why would he condescend to the furious woman who loves hitting things with a giant hammer.

Is it because he is too beautiful to have self-preservation?

Anyway, time to bash his perfect skull in! ]

[the_caped_crusader]

Before you do that.

[He says, interrupting her murderous rage, and then pulls a small clicker from his pants pocket (it's just his car keys)]

Remember I fund the Justice League, Harley. I could just call Batman here and have him deal with all of this. But... you've been doing so well up until now, I want to give you the opportunity to think about what you're doing first.

[itistolaugh]

[ Oh no ... She could lose everything ... Her shitty roommate and shitty boss at her job she only kind of likes and mostly shows up for to flirt with her clueless coworker ... Gosh. The stakes. At so high. ]

Your League sucks ass!

[ Suh-wing batter batter! ]

[the_caped_crusader]

So I've heard. [He replies flatly, putting away his keys.]

I am sorry, Harley. Really. I shouldn't have been so rude. But I won't be extorted over something as frivolous as a thousand dollars.

[He taps his fingers against the desk, thinking.]

How about dinner, you and a guest, wherever you want, on me. [A beat.] And a few steaks for your... pets.

[itistolaugh]

[She stops the swing a few inches from target.]

Okay.

Yes.

That's fine.

You're the guest.

[the_caped_crusader]

[He doesn't flinch, and considers the offer with a long pause before pushing the oversized hammer away with his finger.]

Well, a deal's a deal. [A pause.] Alright.