Mask or Menace IC Contact

[itistolaugh]

"Harley here! Leave a message and I'll get back to you.

Or I won't.

Don't be boring."

(text, voice, video, action)

Comments

[restingstitchface]

Miss Quinzel, I am writing in regard to your juvenile encouragement of teenage girls and women, many of whom are vulnerable, to message me their affections. It has come to my attention that you have coached them to see themselves as my mistress and lifelong companion. I shall not delve into the contents of their letters, but to say these ladies are fascinated not by my work but my unfortunate appearance. They claim I must have suffered during my life to be driven to such desperate measures.

Needless to mention, this disregard of my decisions is the greatest insult.

Contrary to their belief, you are not my "friend" or "compatriot". They're all pathetic, just like you.

Stop encouraging this nonsense. I know it was you. You shall not be warned again. Do you understand that, you peon?

[The tantrum is strong!]

[itistolaugh]

oh shit they're really doing it?? ohhhhh no
that
is
HILARIOUS

ftr i suggested you might appreciate getting some letters to read. the mistress thing is all their own lusty teenage/housewife dreams.

[restingstitchface]

I do not care. It is not amusing. I hold no desire to be the pretty-eyed doll of their dreams. I have received a number of letters this week. Hundreds before that. I am suppressing my desire to escape from my confinement to make them regret their inability to control their craven desires. Thus I am telling you:

You will make it stop.

[itistolaugh]

omg chill
it's just like the second a guy in a boy band gets a girlfriend all the fans lose their damn minds
all you have to do is pick a favorite and they'll all turn on each other

[restingstitchface]

Your advice is unwanted and unneeded.

I already know they are easily driven to hormonal jealousy. They're all pathetic and not one is worthy of being called upon to provide assistance. Most offensively, they practice amateur, armchair psychology and diagnose me with a multitude of illnesses and childhood traumas. They all make me feel nauseous, honestly speaking.

And it's your fault they've been whipped to this frenzy.

[itistolaugh]

all i did was one innocuous comment on a news blurb about your jail time

it's YOUR fault for being a tortured pretty boy. you're just their type.

[restingstitchface]

[Urge to correct grammar is rising.]

Yes, well, all it takes it one action or comment. Your words, not mine. You're the type they'd turn on, you know. A blonde bimbo those hormonally-ruled imbeciles would treat as the perfect totem of hate for their fear of losing their last chance of happiness.

[Look. Sometimes he doesn't recognise sexual motivations in favor of making everything burn all right?]

[itistolaugh]

DON'T YOU DARE

[restingstitchface]

What a lovely response.

I believe I shall.

[itistolaugh]

DR JONATHAN SCARECROW CRANE YOU UTTER DICK!!!!

[restingstitchface]

Now, that's not very nice behavior to show your future confidante. Now that I've formulated this response, the next step is to alert the relevant media...

[itistolaugh]

nobody is going to believe it for a second

[ She hopes. ]

[restingstitchface]

Miss Quinzel, these girls believe I can be reformed. Do you truly believe logic is one of their strengths?

[itistolaugh]

ok nobody but THEM but i dont care what they think

[restingstitchface]

Yes, well, neither do I. But they care what I think. Even more, they care about what I say. I wonder what they'll call you...

[itistolaugh]

the usual
ho, skank, whore, etc
it's not like they're creative

[restingstitchface]

No they're not. Perhaps they'll prove to have an artistic spark and dismember your corpse to hide the evidence. Then they might realize the subsequent irony of calling you trash after dumping you in the garbage.

Since I doubt they're intelligence enough to understand how not to get caught.

[itistolaugh]

WELL
i am deeply offended you do not plan to do the job yourself
i thought we had something special

[restingstitchface]

Such tedious labor is beneath me. I'm afraid you just don't excite me.

[itistolaugh]

[ She'll go ahead and send this completely non-sequitur, in no way relevant picture of a car in the same make and model of his own. ]

[restingstitchface]

[Crane's reply is immediate.]

Miss Quinzel, for a woman who professes her terror at the thought of our... relationship... you are frightfully ignorant of your encouragement of it. I believe your irresponsible behavior exists because you constantly thirst for attention. Quite honestly, you are as infatuated with me as the rest of those idiots.

[AND HE HATES IT. GET OUT.]

[itistolaugh]

in your dreams maybe

furthermore, i would like to bring to your attention that for all you like to try and pin bizarre infatuations on me, you're the one who is hung up on the whole thing and planning to announce our "relationship"

which seems to be the opposite of discouraging the situation

therefore, in conclusion, you suck hardcore
xoxo

[restingstitchface]

in [No!] your dreams maybe [No!]

furthermore [No!], i [No!] would like to bring to your attention that, [No! No! No!] for all you like to try and pin bizarre infatuations on me, you're the one who is hung up on the whole thing and planning to announce our "relationship" [No!]

which [No!] seems to be the opposite of discouraging the situation [No!]

therefore [No! No!], in conclusion, you suck hardcore [No!]

xoxo

The fact you graduated college both astounds and frustrates me. The education system of this country has become a joke.

[itistolaugh]

oh my god the red again stoppp

[restingstitchface]

No, I shall not.

[Actual adult Jonathan Crane.]