Mask or Menace IC Contact

[itistolaugh]

"Harley here! Leave a message and I'll get back to you.

Or I won't.

Don't be boring."

(text, voice, video, action)

Comments

[shadowglitter]

[ Odin opens his mouth, very clearly ready to argue his point about just how stupid he is, but he falters and gives up, just spending the time listening, instead. He keeps brushing, keeping his hand steady, thinking, again, of the weapon maintenance he would calm himself down with at home. ]

... I don't know. I've always wondered why he likes me. He's - I've given him some pretty harsh shit, before, about some things he did back home. I think on some level I've always known it would reach a point where he'd just get mad at me and leave, and I'm, like - maybe this is... it.

[ He breathes out. Shrugs. Lets this go, for a while. ]

Ugh, anyway. It'll be fine. It's fine. Archie's not even the worst part of my life right now.

[itistolaugh]

Nothing harsher than he gives himself every day, I'm sure.

So about this Poe. What happened there?

[shadowglitter]

Yeah, but I don't - want to validate... any self-hate he might feel. I don't know.

[ he's quiet, for a minute. ]

God, okay. Poe stuff. It's - rough. It's long? It's rough and long. That's what she said. It'll take a while. Are you okay with that? I can totally leave, still.

[itistolaugh]

No, you can't. Lou has you hostage so you might as well talk.

[shadowglitter]

[ Odin laughs, a little, scratching Lou behind the ear. Slightly disappointed his that's what she said joke didn't land, but whatever. ]

... So, yeah. There's this guy. Poe.

[ His eyes light up, but it fades. ]

I'm in love with him. More than anything. I told him - on national TV, actually, so you might have seen it - that I wanted to be something with him. And he said... no, because there was somebody else. [ he swallows. ] And that - it hurt. But it was fine. I cried, a bit. We danced around each other for a couple of weeks, trying to figure out what to do, but we decided to stay friends, anyway. He invited me to live with him. He spent all these days with me, making me feel - special. Still. Like he always did. And then - and then he told me that he had feelings for me, too. But that he was making a choice to give this up, because - I don't really know why, still. He wanted the other guy more, even though he thought it was never going to...

[ His voice fades, as he tries to figure out how to phrase this next part. ]

And now they're together. Poe and this other dude whose name I don't even know. But he told me the feelings he had for me - he said he was in love with me? But he's still making this choice. So I don't know... what to believe, or why he would tell me that, or what I am to him. Or what I'm supposed to do. I don't know why he kept dragging me along and staying close to me and making me think that there was hope for us despite-- if it was never - if it... if things were always going to end like this. I think that maybe I was a distraction? Because he thought this other guy wasn't ever going to be there - for him. A backup. In case he ever broke under how lonely he was. He knew that I would always be there, to look at him, the way that I do. But I don't know if he made that choice actively or if it was subconscious or...

Just, I gave him everything good that I have. And it wasn't enough? I'm never enough. I've never - I've always wanted to be, like, the most important person to someone, ever since I was little, but I'm still not. And I'm gonna die, when I'm ported home, and I don't have enough time to fall out of love with this dude and find someone else and be loved or wanted as much as I want to be. So I don't know what I have left. Anymore.