Mask or Menace IC Contact

[itistolaugh]

"Harley here! Leave a message and I'll get back to you.

Or I won't.

Don't be boring."

(text, voice, video, action)

Comments

[text]

[failedparenting]

i'm not pointing fingers but did you go through my shit the other night?

[itistolaugh]

yup
you really shouldn't leave me unsupervised pretty much ever

[failedparenting]

jesus christ

[Okay, so maybe he should've thought of that before he went off and left her unsupervised while he slept. And maybe he should finally just get that ducking safe for the Colt.]

did you touch that gun in my sock drawer??????

[itistolaugh]

yeah probably. so what? i didn't steal it

[failedparenting]

[His mother always said blonde women would be the death of him but he never assumed it was literal and also that death would be an aneurism.]

fuck me

there were four bullets with it, i'm missing one. do you know where you dropped it???

[itistolaugh]

i dont lose ammo
you probably shot it and forgot because youre old etc

[failedparenting]

[Hello total overwhelming panic, my old friend.]

i didn't

look, they're carved and have numbers engraved onto them. pure sliver. you sure you didn't drop one?

[itistolaugh]

really??? that sounds pretty
i swear i didnt even see them i definitely would have taken them all if i did

[Harley, this is why you don't argue in your own defense.]

do you want me to help you look

[failedparenting]

I WOULD APPRECIATE IT YEAH

#anoldman

[failedparenting]

sorry I didn't mean to yell like that

[itistolaugh]

w/e
my ex left bullets all over the darn place im good at this game
did you check inside the socks?

[failedparenting]

yeah. and in all of my boxers.

did you take it into a different room? like the kitchen or something? did you fire it?

[itistolaugh]

you dont think you would have noticed if i fired a gun at your place
how hard do you sleep damn
no i just looked it over right by the drawers

now did you REALLY check your socks and boxers or did you guy check
you know where you just look at it once and give up

1/2

[failedparenting]

of course I did, these bullets are fucking important. i'm not half assing this

2/2

[failedparenting]

[And then reluctantly, a few minutes later:]

found it

[itistolaugh]

:) i'm not saying i told you so but im definitely making an i told you so face rn :)

[failedparenting]

in my defense i was running on adrenaline

[itistolaugh]

what do you need engraved silver bullets for anyway
mad at a werewolf? do you need an alibi for your wolfman murders

[failedparenting]

its actually a magical gun that can kill god

[Hahaha absolutely what a funny joke.]

no its just a weird family thing that's got a lot of sentimental value. got it from my grandpa before he died

[itistolaugh]

which god?

liar liar pants in fucking flames

[failedparenting]

no gods, it was a joke

probably could kill a werewolf, if it could even work.

[itistolaugh]

lol k
so what do the engravings mean on your grandpappy's god murdering bullets
is it like ancient runes for "SUCK IT, YHWH"?

[failedparenting]

no clue honestly

I know what the numbers mean but that's about it. he was a weird man

[itistolaugh]

are the numbers how many times god sucks it?

[And a couple minutes later]

one time my ex was possessed by a god of terror and tried to sacrifice me on an altar to bring about a neverending war
his hair was snakes
good times

just putting that out there

[failedparenting]

no its what number bullet it is

[#dadjokes]

jesus he's starting to sound like a reason stand up kind of guy. no wonder he's an ex