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hNennNGNGHGH BABIES

[ Odin signs the fuck off, and, like, minutes pass before he's at Harley's door, sweaty and exhausted with his clothes-- a black hoodie and weird, mesh pants-- dishevelled and all over the place. he flew here as fast as he could, and he's definitely got a bit of a blood nose from the roadsign he smacked into on the way. he knocks on the door as fast as he can. eyes alight with excitement when it opens. ]

Babies. Babies. Babies. Babies? Babies.

[ One of them (Lou - the FAT ONE) is already at the door and snuffling Odin industriously for any sign of treats and/or weakness. Harley wipes the blood off Odin's nose before Bud can take it as a signal to attack. She gives him a brush and a handful of treats to bribe them.

Also there are crows.

Just like.

Just a fuckin shit ton of birds.

This house is an experience. ]

This one is Lou. He's nicer than Bud so you can brush him. Not that Bud is mean, he just. Well. He's not as good with new people?

[ Odin all but staggers and falls over, leaning on the doorframe and trying not to collapse. He's... he's so cute. He's so cute, and he's so fat. And-- crows-- Odin wants crows. Odin wants so many crows. Odin is supposed to be The Allfather God, he who controls crows like it's no big deal. He wants them. He wants all of these. Is this heaven? ]

I've died? I've died and I've gone to heaven. Everything's better? All the problems in my life are gone. All I need is this house. Can I move in? Do you need another roommate? How much money does board cost? I'm moving in. I'm going to get a tent and set it up in your garden, if nothing else. This is my home now.

[ He bends down and just immediately bribes the hell out of Lou, offering, like, nearly all of the treats at once. Tries not to scream in joy when they're eaten from his hand. He's gonna cry. ]

This is-- is this therapy? Is this what therapy is? Is therapy just giving treats to beautiful heroes in a house full of crows? I want this. I want this after all? I can't believe I resisted this for so long? I'm gonna cry.

[Lou nearly bites off a finger but almost doesn't count and he's cute so it's fine, it's all fine. Bud is immediately jealous and pushes Lou out of the way so he can also get attention, and huffs dramatically when there is NOTHING LEFT FOR HIM. WHY DOES EVERYONE LOVE LOU MORE. ALWAYS, HE IS BETRAYED!!! Harley has to distract him with a cow femur before he can start a fight.

She laughs, not at him but just genuinely delighted by how much he loves her creepy zoo.]

It's not my house, so you'd have to fight Crane over it. He hates when I even let anyone know the address, but also I can beat him up so whatever, I do what I want!

Therapy is traditionally a lot more of like, "tell me about your childhood" and "how does that make you feel" and "here's a list of things wrong with you." I'm not really a fan? Everyone needs something different, so. There's a lot of winging it.

But this isn't therapy therapy, this is just talking.

[ Odin would have given that finger up, if it would make Lou happy. He actually kind of goes to offer his hand once he's pushed away, to try and entice him back, which is slightly short sighted and terrible given that he's a regular human with no healing powers, but. No hands are bitten.

He does, however, feel bad for Bud. He makes a mental note to buy just a shit ton of raw steaks and swing them by at some point. ]

Crane can eat a diiiiiiiiiiick. You can't hide a place like this from people. If I'd known there was a house filled with crows and hyenas around here, I would've gatecrashed months ago.

[ odin stands back up to his full height, brushing himself down a little and staring around at the crows with awe. ugh. UGH. HE WANTS TO LIVE HERE!!!! he puts his zoo-based envy out of his mind, though, because, right. he's here to have a conversation. with a human. about sad things. his chest suddenly feels very tight. ]

Are you sure you're okay with-- like. Me? Talking to me? I don't... I don't want to be a burden.

[Harley plants her hands on her hips and gives him a stern look.]

Oh my gosh stop that!

[And pulls him into a great big hug. She gives great hugs. And the hyenas are leaning against their legs on either side, so it's like EXTRA hugging even though it's sucking up for more treats.]

[ He flinches, a little, at the stern look, immediately holding his arms up in apologetic surrender - only to have them immediately crushed against his torso as he gets hugged. He pinkens, a little, but he wriggles his arms free and hugs back. He's really good at hugs, too. He just imitates his mom's bear hugs. ]

Th-that's. I mean. That's-- is that an OK? That's an OK. I think. Is that-- is that a you're okay with this? I think that's a you're okay with this. I can't... really... tell? I think-- hoo boy.

[ he nervously pats her on the back. ]

That's an okay. Now sit down and start brushin' and dishin'.

[She takes a seat on the floor and manhandles Bud into her lap so she can attack his fluff more easily. Lou actually likes brush time, and starts mouthing at Odin's arm. Groom him or die, treats man.]

Where do you want to start?

Edited 2017-12-29 19:04 (UTC)

[ Treats man can take a hint. He sits on the floor, making himself as small as he can as he keeps his back to the wall, and brushes the hell outta Lou. Gently, though. Doesn't wanna hurt him. ]

... I dunno.

[ He's surprised, how quickly the brushing becomes cathartic. He used to polish weapons and perform armor maintenance whenever he was sad or anxious back home, which he hasn't been able to do since coming here, given the lack of an army of sword-wielding knights to take care of. This feels similar. Taking care of something with his hands. ]

D'you wanna hear about love life stuff or friend stuff?

[Lou stretches and settles his full weight on top of Odin's legs. This is his. He owns this guy. Odin is furniture now and forever.]

Which one is bothering you more right now?

[ It's hard to stay curled up and minimal when a big-ass wild animal is laying all over him. Odin stretches out his legs on reflex to make Lou more comfortable, shooting Harley an apologetic glance for taking up so much space. ]

U-Uh...

[ he hesitates. ]

They... both... suck. I was in love with this dude for months and he fell in love with me, too, and he kept stringing me along-- not maliciously-- only to shut me down when someone he loved more turned out to be available. And then... and then my friend Arch-- [ wait, she knows him, he thinks. ] --o. Archo. My friend-- Archo-- said things, like, "I don't know why I bother", about me, because he was tired of dealing with me, and he said I was more than just stupid, and... that I needed to grow the fuck up and-- and things. Worse things. That I deserved. But still hurt.

[ he looks down. pats lou a little more. ]

And I'm not-- as important. To anyone. As I want to be. And it sucks. That sucks.

It does suck. I'm sorry that they hurt you. How did that happen with Archie?

[Harley Quinn, World's Greatest Detective.]

[ Shit, he's been caught out! Odin puts a hand over his heart, nervously glancing around the room in case Archie can hear them somehow. Ugh. Augh. ]

... So, uh. Before Poe ended up with this other guy-- we'd planned on moving in together? And Archie said-- we were both just hurting each other. For a lot of reasons. Called me stupid for wanting to do it. He shut down pretty hard, when I tried to explain my side of things. Which is fine. But.

I have a really hard time expressing myself, sometimes. And he knows that. And he knows I get through it by being kind of - verbose? Theatrical. And I was doing that... and he just said I was trying to pretty things up. Like - I was lying. So... I reminded him of how we first became really close? He and I? When I was ported in? 'Cause I wrote this big story to tell him how I was feeling when I couldn't, like, reach out with the words themselves, and he figured out what I meant and he came over and we became really close and he helped me open up. And just, like.

He just told me to leave. When I brought it up. Because he was sick of me. Because I'm always being stupid and making bad decisions.

Well, that's. Something. We can circle back to that.

Did he tell you to leave? Did he actually say, get out, I'm sick of you because you're always being stupid and making bad decisions? Because-- I'm not calling you a liar, but it seems to me that maybe you both got keyed up and maybe started reading into each other stuff nobody actually said. It's still not good that what happened makes you feel like he's sick of you and that you're stupid, but feeling it doesn't make that true. You're not stupid. I don't think he's sick of you either. He's a ride or die kind of bitch.

I said, "do you remember bluh bluh bluh" and he just-- cut me off, basically, all like, "Crobat'll take you home." So.

[ heeeee shrugs. it was a pretty clear dismissal, if nothing else. ]

I mean, it came after a pretty shitty and dramatic conversation where he was all exasperated by me and very clearly angry at my choices and dismissive of my feelings. Which-- is fine. I'm not saying I was blameless? Because, like, let me be clear. It's sweet of you to think otherwise, but I'm a super stupid dude. All the things I think and do are like, the wrong things to think and do.

[ he breathes out. ]

But - god. I'm just venting. I don't want this to get back to him? Because we'll probably talk... in a day or two. And I'll apologize for my part in this and for overreacting and he'll hopefully apologize for his. Just - man. I don't have a lot of friends I can rely on, and-- and, like-- it sucks fighting with one of them.

You're not stupid.

[ She jabs the brush in the air to mark her point, sending another tuft of fur to the floor. ]

Doing stuff that other people wouldn't do, or not the way they want you to do it, or wishing you'd done something a different way, or thinking ... or thinking anything-- That's not wrong. That's not stupid.

[She has to take a breath. Some of him is too close to home. She still falls into the same patterns.]

There are a lot of different ways to be smart.

[Some of the more industrious crows have started stealing wayward fluffs to line their nests. The hyenas snap lazily at them, but don't seem inclined to give chase. They have been pecked too many times before. She watches the menagerie for a while.]

Anyway. Archie won't hear about any of this from me. I'm sure he'll feel like an asshole and talk to you himself before I could even get the chance.

He's-- I love him? I love the guy. He's great in a lot of ways, but I don't think he's... Love that hurts like this isn't really something I think he can get. It looks different than it feels.

[ Odin opens his mouth, very clearly ready to argue his point about just how stupid he is, but he falters and gives up, just spending the time listening, instead. He keeps brushing, keeping his hand steady, thinking, again, of the weapon maintenance he would calm himself down with at home. ]

... I don't know. I've always wondered why he likes me. He's - I've given him some pretty harsh shit, before, about some things he did back home. I think on some level I've always known it would reach a point where he'd just get mad at me and leave, and I'm, like - maybe this is... it.

[ He breathes out. Shrugs. Lets this go, for a while. ]

Ugh, anyway. It'll be fine. It's fine. Archie's not even the worst part of my life right now.

Nothing harsher than he gives himself every day, I'm sure.

So about this Poe. What happened there?

Yeah, but I don't - want to validate... any self-hate he might feel. I don't know.

[ he's quiet, for a minute. ]

God, okay. Poe stuff. It's - rough. It's long? It's rough and long. That's what she said. It'll take a while. Are you okay with that? I can totally leave, still.

No, you can't. Lou has you hostage so you might as well talk.

[ Odin laughs, a little, scratching Lou behind the ear. Slightly disappointed his that's what she said joke didn't land, but whatever. ]

... So, yeah. There's this guy. Poe.

[ His eyes light up, but it fades. ]

I'm in love with him. More than anything. I told him - on national TV, actually, so you might have seen it - that I wanted to be something with him. And he said... no, because there was somebody else. [ he swallows. ] And that - it hurt. But it was fine. I cried, a bit. We danced around each other for a couple of weeks, trying to figure out what to do, but we decided to stay friends, anyway. He invited me to live with him. He spent all these days with me, making me feel - special. Still. Like he always did. And then - and then he told me that he had feelings for me, too. But that he was making a choice to give this up, because - I don't really know why, still. He wanted the other guy more, even though he thought it was never going to...

[ His voice fades, as he tries to figure out how to phrase this next part. ]

And now they're together. Poe and this other dude whose name I don't even know. But he told me the feelings he had for me - he said he was in love with me? But he's still making this choice. So I don't know... what to believe, or why he would tell me that, or what I am to him. Or what I'm supposed to do. I don't know why he kept dragging me along and staying close to me and making me think that there was hope for us despite-- if it was never - if it... if things were always going to end like this. I think that maybe I was a distraction? Because he thought this other guy wasn't ever going to be there - for him. A backup. In case he ever broke under how lonely he was. He knew that I would always be there, to look at him, the way that I do. But I don't know if he made that choice actively or if it was subconscious or...

Just, I gave him everything good that I have. And it wasn't enough? I'm never enough. I've never - I've always wanted to be, like, the most important person to someone, ever since I was little, but I'm still not. And I'm gonna die, when I'm ported home, and I don't have enough time to fall out of love with this dude and find someone else and be loved or wanted as much as I want to be. So I don't know what I have left. Anymore.

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