itistolaugh | Mask or Menace IC Contact

[ In blue, white and silver wrapping paper, a calendar he assumes she'll appreciate. ]

Here, have a dick pic.

Edited 2016-12-31 10:27 (UTC)

[ Dear lord is he so embarrassed after that stupid fucking display. He can't even. No, seriously, he can't even leave a video or voice message, he is that damn embarrassed. ]

Sorry about yesterday. That was SUPPOSED TO be private.

I'll get you some apology ice cream whenever I can crawl out of my shame hole.

[ The thing is, Julian actually likes Harley. He finds her annoying, but she actually seems to care and that generally puts him in his good books. So the list he has is genuine in his attempts to Be Helpful. Feel free to assume it is longer than the one given here. ]

New Year's Resolutions, 2017
- Romance and intimacy are important to you. There is no need to rush things. Take your time, consider your options. Look before you leap.
- If someone won't take no for an answer, make them. Remember your roots.
- Don't push people's buttons on purpose.
- Get into less fights with Crane.
- Lie less. Don't make up stories.
- Be sure to use people underestimating your intelligence to your advantage.
- Be very careful with your new job. Don't let it replicate certain institutions.
- Remember not to trust Dr. Chilton.
- Leave other people's fashion choices alone.
- Recognize boundaries.

Edited 2017-01-04 04:44 (UTC)

[ Baelish 1000% knows this is a waste of time. BUT STILL. The message arrives for Harley via mockingbird. Sealed closed by a wax mockingbird sigil, the letter is hand-written in careful cursive. ]

Dear, Doctor Quinzel -

I write to you on behalf of a project I am working on within our city. Construction has already begun on rebuilding a much larger library, but I wish for this to be more than simply a bigger structure. I hope to inspire education and the spread of knowledge to the natives of Maurtia Falls as well as provide an invaluable resource to new arrivals here. But more than that, I wish to use it to pay homage to the natives who lost their lives within Maurtia Falls due to imPort related tragedies. Their names will be honored within the library itself and donations will be set up to be made to the families.

For this project to succeed, I need your help. If you are able to donate anything at all to the cause, it would be most appreciated -- whether that is books, money, or simply your time. I believe I heard that Doctor Chilton will give you a paid evening out for two to any destination you so choose within Maurtia Falls if you help out.

I thank you for your time, and I do hope to hear back from you soon.

Sincerely,
Ambassador Petyr Baelish

[ OOC: You can feel free to just respond to this OOCly if Harley would donate anything or not! ]

[ There's a package in the mail. Inside is a box of chocolates and a small black envelope. Inside is a handmade Valentine's Day card from none other than Calendar Man: ]

[ There was a lot Adachi had been thinking about since the beginning of the month, and there was too much he wanted to say, more than he could get out in a text message. Instead, sometime near the end of the month, Harley gets a letter shoved in her mail. ]

Harley,

Sorry I didn't just text. I wanted to be able to say everything I wanted to, and say it the right way, no matter how many times I had to re-write this.

Recently, I met someone that told me something important, something I didn't realize I needed to hear. He told me I needed to find my "two Ls": life and love. I know what my life is, that was easy to figure out. I think even with what you saw, it's pretty easy to figure out how I'm a detective, and all always be a detective.

But love? That's pretty hard.

For the longest time, I thought the "love" I was supposed to have came in the form of a family. That's why I tried so damn hard, I think. But I think I was more interested in the ideal of what that love was supposed to be, rather than what actually went into making it work. And I want that someday; a family, with the right person that's actually interested in that too.

For now, though, I guess I'll look for smaller "loves", with something like "friends", or whatever you want to call them. I think that's all I need right now.

On that note, I'm looking to get a new place, something I can use not only as a place to live, but an office as well. When I do, I'll have a little party -- pizza and beer is always good, right? Besides, you should meet this guy; he's one of those crazy figure skaters that showed up a couple months ago. I think you two would get along.

Thanks, by the way, for putting up with me. And thanks, for being a good friend.

- Adachi

PS: Sorry it's discount chocolate, but I wanted to get you some for Valentine's.

[ And yeah, there's totally a little heart box with the letter, though there's the remnants of a few markdown stickers that Adachi struggled to get off. He swears it's just supposed to be something cute. ]

Edited 2017-02-25 01:34 (UTC)

Have you seen Calendar Man today?

Are you busy this moment?

Hey you're a shrink right? And friends with Lucifer? Are you taking new patients?

Did you hear about the vending machines?

__/\__
( ⚆_⚆)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

CALLED BATMAN A BITCH DILDO TO HIS FACE THEN CHALLENGED HIM TO A FIGHT. IF I DIE YOU CAN HAVE MY SAVINGS, JUST DON'T SPEND THEM ON MORE PORN.

[The day arrives without Crane making any verbal sign of acknowledgement. He loathed birthdays. He especially loathed them involving him with other people. Social protocol - which was something he had stopped following the demands of long ago - demanded a kind word.

He mocked that rule by sending her a Get Well card through the post. Inside was a brief message in his spidery writing:

Happy birthday.

Considering Harley's sanity - and maybe his own - the "Get Well" message is something of a joke.]

Edited 2017-07-28 13:33 (UTC)

YOU NEED TO LOOK AT THIS RIGHT NOW [ link ]

okay seriously

how do you deal with someone that has the cock of a horse and the personality of dried toast

I would sooner attend a hoedown.

i'm not pointing fingers but did you go through my shit the other night?

me n adachi were discussing his newfound bisexuality and mutually agreed you're pretty great jysk

[John hasn't actually reached out to Harley in a while, over a week at least. And so, you'd expect he'd try to make an effort when he texts her next, right?

Nah]

hey call me

I could use your help.

[Some stock ass holiday card with a thousand bucks inside. Probably signed by his secretary.]

[Tossed onto Harley's bed are three presents wrapped in classy gold paper and tied with black ribbon - wrapped by someone else, because he honestly doesn't care to do it personally. There's no card because who cares about those?]

I'm having a crisis and SOMEHOW you're my best source of advise on the matter so, if you'd please.

Do you know anything? Did he tell you anything?

who gets someone a RING if they don't
unless he did mean
and his KNEE!
I don't understand anything. ANYTHING.

hhhhhhhey. Hey. Hey. Hi. It's the cool and great and awesome Odin Dark, here to shovel all of his problems on a person he's spoken to exactly once. You do therapy stuff? I think. I don't need that, but someone to talk to would be cool. My friend is sad about his dead sister/ported out girlfriend, my other friend just sorta friend-broke up with me, the dude I love is gone, my impromptu-family I can't really rely on right now and everyone else I'd turn to is kinda MIA. So... D... do I pay you? Do I give you money? To talk? At me? I have so much money. How much would you like? I could buy you a house, if I wanted to, and if they let me put houses on credit cards.

thanks for the beer

Dec 25 PRESENT

gift? text 1/2

December 31st [Text]

Early hours of Jan 1, anonymously

Letter!

PHYSICAL MAIL

Letter

text RIGHT THIS MOMENT

THIS IS URGENT BUSINESS. DO NOT IGNORE

A Very Professional Email

text;

text

post, 7/20